To be aware: Jimmy Eat World came on my shuffle the exact moment when I opened this blog post. "Work," to be specific. That, universe, was a cue well called.
To be more aware: I (semi) stood up for myself and had a (kind of) Come to Jesus with some of my crew. I want to be able to say that I laid down the law and showed them who was boss and blah blah blah but thing is, I didn't really. I wasn't afraid but I also wasn't forceful. I was just clear.
I wish, a little bit, that I had come off as some bad ass stage manager goddess, but the American patriarchy has got it's hold on me too tight: "You are just a little girl. You may not, ever, tell men who are older than you what to do. Ever."
Full awareness: I think it's so interesting the way people pick up non-verbal cues. I, as Chels put it so nicely earlier tonight, collect boys. A large portion of my good friends are men and I tend to be physically affectionate with all of them. This afternoon, a certain gentleman came to visit me at the theater and, as we walked to the park blocks, we ran into two people from my show. We were not touching, I said nothing about his relationship to me. Yet both asked me if he was my boyfriend when I got back to the theater. BOTH! How many times have I stood with my arms wrapped around the waist of a man and never been questioned? And today, just walking with him, everyone sensed something. How odd.
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