O.F.G

O.F.G (exclamation): a relatively new part of the Murphstein dialect, meaning "Oy Fucking Gevault." To be used as an expression of disbelief at the extent of ridiculous-ness/shitty-ness/absurd-ness that surrounds you.  Context: "The cat pooped in the punch again?! O.F.G!"

Monday, January 30th: O.F.G.

7:30a  I wake up. I wake up this early not for work or for fun, but because at some point yesterday, I lost my car key. To be specific, the piece of metal that flips out of my unlock/lock keypad and serves as my ignition key just fell out.

(In case my description just made no sense, look at this)

Yes, that little stick of metal is the source of my woes

Just, "Bye bye, Olivia. We had a nice run and now I'm out-ies." Just GONE. I unlocked my car after work, put my bag in the trunk, got in, flipped up my key and went "whaaaaa?!?"
Why? How? All unknown. Result? My baby little bug had to stay at work while Mona came and picked me up and we went home.
And since it was Sunday, no locksmiths were working and no VW dealership's service departments were open. Which is why I woke up at 7:30a. To call locksmiths/VW dealerships.

7:45a I talk to Carl the Grumpy Yet Helpful Locksmith and he agrees to try and get the VW powers-that-be to tell him what my car's ignition pattern is so that he and I can meet at the Bug and he can make me a new key.

9:15a Mona and I leave The Manor together, since she was driving me to the theater so (hopefully) Carl the Grumpy could come and fix my car.

10:20a I give up on waiting for Carl the Grumpy to call me back and call him. The VW powers-that-be had not contacted him and we made an appointment to fix my life sometime tomorrow. Which, while good, was also bad because I had some nannying to get to on the other side of town like ASAP.

10:28a I have printed up a TriMet description of the route I should take and am ready to board my first of three buses to take me to nannying in an estimated 66min, making me just about on time for an 11:30a arrival.

10:42a I get off at the wrong stop, immediately realize it was wrong and still do not manage to get back on my original bus.

10:57a A new bus picks me up and I'm now about 15 min behind schedule. I call Zo's dad and tell him I'll be a little late, apologizing profusely.

11:10a My bus breaks down (practically) right outside Mona's work. I'm only a few blocks away from where I would have gotten off anyway, but I'm in a part of town I don't know so I decide to just put on my big girl panties and figure it out.

11:12a I'm lost.

11:17a I'm still lost.

11:28a I decide to stand at a bus stop and ask the next bus driver who come by to tell me how to get a bus to St. Johns.

11:34a A very nice bus driver with a (miraculously) empty bus arrives and offers to give me a ride to the stop I should have been at more than half an hour ago.

11:45a I wait for this bus

11:53a I wait for the bus

12:12a I am finally on the right bus headed the right way and I call Zo's dad, falling over myself apologizing. This is the moment that he decides to tell me that he doesn't actually have to go to work today and you know what, Olivia, it's fine if you don't come - actually, you should probably not.

12:13a I sit on the phone with him in silence

12:13a John asks if that's okay?

12:13a Yes, sure.

12:13a Okay, great - see you Thursday.

12:15a I get off the bus in St. Johns and kinda stand at the corner, a little lost for what to do.

12:20a I walk into a coffee shop and sit down, pull out my computer work and think "Oy fucking gevault."