Keeping Pace

My fellow bloggers (Maria @ http://mdifabbio.wordpress.com/ and Kinch @ http://silkinthediningroom.blogspot.com/) have been writing about our six month graduation anniversary, so I thought I'd keep pace.

I'm writing from the Slaughter's living room while Zo is napping upstairs and then, when Amy comes home, I am going to the theater for the 23rd performance of "Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Christmas Carol." I live with my best friend and I am trying to make some new ones. I miss Bennington nearly every day but, like Maria said, I know that what I miss most isn't there for me anymore.

I miss living only a street away from my favorite people, I miss VAPA at night, I miss VAPA during the day. I miss turning the corner to Annabel's office and letting out the breath I'd been holding all day, knowing she could solve whatever was wrong. I miss collapsing on to the couches in Booth, I miss curling up by Booth's fireplace. I miss rm 12 and rm 4. I miss getting excited about pasta night, about Wednesday mornings and eggs benedict. I miss Vermont mornings and the nights when the moon seemed to sit on Canfield's roof.  I miss hearing Jean laugh from two hallways away. I miss going to Rob and feeling better immediately.  And though the moon is probably still there and Jean and Annabel and Rob are still there, my place isn't. I don't have work in VAPA or a room in Booth. I don't have papers and books to discuss or class to prepare for. If I was there I would just be tracing the life I lived and not living it again. Maria said it and I think she's right - I miss my college years and not my college.

Instead I'm trying new things. I'm lying in bed and letting a two year old count my freckles (she got to eight). I'm  running dry ice in a new backstage. I'm learning new street names, I'm navigating new social scenes. I'm running auditions and copying sides and I'm taking everything from Bennington and translating it.

Yes, graduation was hard for me. Yes, it kills me that the people I love are so far away. But also: yes, I'm fine. I'm more than fine. I'm excited and I'm trying to make my Life Work Term a real life and one that I'll love living.