Saturday, May 26

Anxiety Dreams

I've had anxiety dreams for the last two nights, but not of the type I'm used to. I'm used to the thrash-around-in-bed-worried-about-work type or the wake-up-every-thirty-min-afraid-of-the-same-thing type or the sleep-walk-around-my-room-and-move-things type. I've got all those down and, while I don't sleep well, I can shake them off really easily once I'm awake.
The last two nights I've been having super emotional anxiety dreams.  I've been dreaming about friends turning their backs on me, shutting down, slipping away and not looking back.
In my dream last night I was so hurt and afraid that I screamed like I've never screamed at someone. I was crying and screeching at her and she didn't even turn around. I took my shoes off and threw them at her. Nothing.

Now I just feel a little bit empty and really jostled. Kind of naked, even. And none of this really happened.

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